embroidery me you

Debates on my Facebook Page: The Rules

So, earlier this week I asked you whether you enjoyed the debates on my Facebook page. Thing is, I asked you for a reason. It’s because at the start of this year there was a little skirmish on my page when three people name-called other commenters on a thread about feminism. Now, I very rarely hit the ‘block’ button (because it’s the Defcon 1 of shutting down debate) but on this occasion my repeated requests for civilised chat were ignored so hit it I did.

Thing is, 99 per cent of the time debates on my Facebook page are gorgeous: insightful, funny, intelligent, respectful, enlightening and stuffed with nuance. Yet seeing others barge in to start barking at my customers made me realise that I need to point out a few things. If we are to continue the debate for which Kraken Kreations is known and loved I gotta draw lines in le sand. Believe me when I say my scorched earth policy is primed and ready for action. And if I sound furious, it’s because that’s exactly how I feel. Here’s what you need to know…

No name calling

When I say this it’s not because I’m on the side of the people at whom the slur is aimed. If you call someone a potato-faced arsebasket and I object, it’s not because I have a deep and abiding affinity to potato-faced arsebaskets. It’s because it is nasty, childish, disrespectful and stops discussion in its tracks. And why do I believe this? BECAUSE I AM NOT A FUCKING FIVE YEAR OLD.

It’s not about disagreement

If I do remove people from my page it’s not because I disagree with them. They would be the actions of a West African dictator and I didn’t get that job the last time I applied for it. I remove them because they are rude. There’s a difference. Name-callers would do well to learn it. *she says adjusting the military uniform it’s assumed that she wears*

It’s a happy place!

No really. Kraken Kreations IS a happy place. It brightens the lives of many (or so they have told me), offers hand stitched solutions to really annoying problems, waves a magic wand over periods and offers emotional support to those with mental health problems.

Understand all of this, before you wade into debates on my Facebook page with the assumption that I’m a rampaging fascist pigdog. I’m a 47 year old life-long socialist who sews in a shed because she wants women to have equality. In short, put down your close-to-the surface indignation and read before you shout.

Fetch me my pen!

My business journal has a page that reads, “Come the revolution”. Call names and I will put YOUR name on it and attach it to your head with my upholstery stapler.

Both sides now

It is OK to not be on any one side during debates on my Facebook page. You know that trend we’ve been forced into? The one where you have to be for or against something with no in-between? Don’t fall for that horseshit. Instead allow the rational part of your brain to trump the one that’s foaming and twitching. It IS possible to understand and support two opinions at once.

For example when I say that I believe feminism is about women that doesn’t automatically mean I want to put  everyone else to death. Equally, when I say I believe in the power of textile art it doesn’t mean I’m about to round up the planet’s woodworkers and shove their chisels up their arses. This isn’t an either/ or situation. There really are colours between the black and the white.

All in the head

We routinely discuss mental health issues over on my Kraken Kreations Facebook page. You’d be amazed at how many of us struggle with all manner of noggin-ruining conditions. Well, that’s when name-calling becomes dangerous as well as infantile. When I was at the lowest point of my breakdown, a stranger hollering names at me would have pushed me into the abyss via my nearest kitchen knife. That won’t be happening to anyone else on my stitchy watch so back the fuck off.

All ears

The Kraken Kreations page is a community of amazing people from all sorts of backgrounds, ethnicities and nations. Listen and you might find they’re a good bunch with something valuable to offer. Unless, of course, they’re calling you a potato-faced arsebasket in which case let me know and I’ll put them on that list in my journal.

Go thataway…

You don’t like the debates on my Facebook page? Just. Move. On. You do know how big the internet is don’t you? That its entirety doesn’t consist of Kraken Kreations, Piers Morgan and cats in vases? It means that if you don’t like what you see you can find something that you do. You won’t hurt my feelings. In fact it’ll be a relief because I won’t be forced to find the link to this blog post and send it to you while also running up an embroidery of the spleen.

All mouth

If you want to get shouty, go over there. There’s loads of shoutiness over there *waves randomly to the right*. Twitter will probably bestow you with a royal title for your involvement, especially if you can provide evidence of how you’ve offered to ruin someone’s life because they, say, like pork pies.


I’m stabby. I work with needles. If you make an ugly comment and immediately feel a pain in your left arse cheek, that’s me poking your effigy with a sharpened bodkin. Consequences, people! CONSEQUENCES!

Mama Ru

The whole point of Kraken Kreations is to make life better through gorgeous things, emotional support and the ability to discuss issues enough to move the world forward an inch. As RuPaul would say, “DON’T fuck it up!”.

Turning tail

What stuns me about some thankfully rare debates on my Facebook page is this: you can be followed for years by someone who loves your work, chats every day, buys items off you, recommends you to friends, sends you love and Crimbo cards and then… calls you a cowbitch WHO MUST DIE because you clumsily typed a sentence or they don’t agree utterly and in perpetuity with your last comment. These people are where intellectual thought goes to die. Don’t be one of them.

Good folk

Do you know how kind people are on my page? My customers will buy and send items anonymously to each other when one of them is in need of support even when they’ve never spoken. Then someone barges in with a nasty name and the nuance of a housebrick falling from 40 feet. I therefore refer you to the scorched earth policy I mentioned some moments ago.

You do you

As I mentioned in the above point, it’s MY page. If I want to flood it with photos of otters in pyjamas then that’s what I’ll do. You want a page where it’s the wild west of name-calling? Feel free to start your own.

And another thing…

I can hold a grudge. And did I yet mention that I work with needles?

So, does this persuade you why there’ll be no name calling now or ever during debates on my Facebook page?  If so, then please come back over. Every day there’s bags (literally and metaphorically) of creativity and merriment as well as serious chat about anything from unequal pay to the use of plastic. It’s a joy. But if you’re not persuaded? If those ugly names are still lingering tantalisingly on your lips? Then I am so far out of welcomes that you should start stockpiling them in your post-Brexit cupboard. The Kraken Kreations page is a good place and I’m fucking keeping it that way. Now, can I interest any of you in a hoop? I think you’ll find that the one below has been rather popular…